Problems In Relationships And How To Solve Them
Every person who decides to be in a relationship will face difficulties at some point in their relationship. We may learn how to cope with relationship issues, big or small, by practicing good communication, mutual respect, and compromise.
It's beneficial for couples to learn how to talk about difficulties in their relationships without arguing and to try to address them without splitting up. Differences or unsolved concerns, on the other hand, may lead to a split. It's crucial to know how to cope with relationship problems—and when it's time to walk away.
How To Handle Common Relationship Issues
The following are some of the most typical sources of conflict in relationships:
One of the most prevalent sources of tension in a relationship is money. Money concerns may generate friction in a relationship, whether it's due to disparities in financial means, differing perspectives on the value of money, or disparities in spending patterns. This is especially true when there is a power imbalance, such as when one spouse has greater financial resources and the other believes they owe their partner money.
Here are some suggestions for resolving potential financial conflicts:
- Make an open and honest assessment of your financial status. Be honest about your financial limitations when it comes to dates and presents.
- When it comes to arguments or disagreements that aren't about money, don't use money as leverage or "ammunition."
- If you live together and decide to combine your funds, make spending and saving habits a reasonable compromise for both of you.
- Keep your finances separate from one another. This not only keeps things fair, but it may also be a critical component of a successful safety plan if the relationship ends.
Another challenge that many couples face is sex and intimacy. Physical closeness may be a source of conflict between partners. In open or polyamorous partnerships, one person may want sex more frequently than the other, or may be more open to diverse types of sex or having sex with more than one person. When it comes to public displays of love, there are often mismatches in comfort levels—one spouse may not want to be physically affectionate in public while the other does. And, as the relationship evolves, these preferences may shift. Maintaining a good relationship requires ongoing and honest communication about intimate needs and preferences.
It's crucial to remember that in a sexual relationship, consent is the most important factor. Consent must include the following elements:
- Excited: You and your partner should both indicate a desire to engage in sexual activity.
- You should not feel compelled to engage in sexual behavior in any way.
- Informed: Be aware of what sexual behavior entails and any potential implications.
- Consent can be provided for one type of sexual behavior but not for another. Before you try new activities, ask your spouse how he or she is feeling.
- Ongoing: Just because you've said yes to sex once doesn't imply you've accepted to every sexual interaction. Each time you want to be physically intimate, check in ahead of time.
Consider organizing "date evenings," or private time where you break out of your typical routines and do something you love together, to become closer to your spouse and establish an environment for enthusiastic consent in your relationship.
You should not feel compelled to engage in sex or any other sexual activity in order to keep your relationship alive. Consent is not given if you feel compelled, forced, or guilted into having sex. If you believe your consent has been violated and need assistance, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 at any time to talk with a professional staff member.
Another issue that can generate friction in a relationship is a difference in time management, especially when it comes to creating time for each other. Balancing alone time, time with your spouse, time with friends, and time for other duties may be difficult, and as the relationship progresses, expectations may shift. A good relationship requires having a clear understanding of what you need and discussing it with your spouse, especially if your needs or wants change.
You may have sentiments of anger or envy if your partner does not make time for you. Similarly, if your spouse expects you to spend all of your time together, you may begin to feel as if you are neglecting other vital aspects of your life.
Here are some suggestions for resolving possible problems throughout relationship time:
- Discuss how much time you want to spend together and what your other priorities are up front.
- Find strategies to align your schedules as much as possible so you can spend time together. Make a timetable that allows you to spend time with your partner.
- Spend time together attempting new things, such as taking up a new pastime that you both enjoy.
- When you need time away from your spouse, be open about it.
Jealousy And Trust
In a relationship, feeling uneasy, jealous, or mistrust may rapidly lead to a slew of issues, especially if there are valid grounds for the suspicion.
There are instances when these sentiments occur for no apparent cause. Many of us are insecure in relationships because we lack relationship experience, have low self-worth issues that impact how we feel about ourselves in a relationship, or have unresolved issues from prior relationships. Consider talking it through with your spouse or obtaining help from a therapist who can help you get to the source of the problem if you know that your feelings of insecurity are originating from within yourself.
In other cases, your partner's behavior or words might mistakenly or intentionally generate emotions of insecurity. Check in with your spouse if you're feeling this way. In good relationships, having honest talks about difficult things like these is unavoidable, and it can be a wonderful opportunity to develop as a couple and as individuals. If your spouse, on the other hand, rejects your worries, downplay their harmful conduct, or makes you feel worse after you discuss, it may be time to end the relationship.
When To Stay In A Relationship And When To Leave A Relationship
Equality, kindness, compassion, and support are the foundations of healthy partnerships. In contrast, unhealthy relationships frequently involve characteristics that generate unpleasant sentiments, such as criticism, selfishness, resentment, difficulty compromising, or a power or control imbalance.
Conflict and problems will arise in most relationships at some point. If you find yourself feeling worse after dealing with these difficulties on a regular basis, it may be time to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy enough to resolve or whether it is time to go.
When Should You Remain In A Relationship?
- You and your relationship are emotionally, socially, and physically fulfilled, and you trust that you and your partner will be cared for and listened to.
- Other aspects of your life are intertwined with your relationship: If your friends and family warmly accept your spouse, and you warmly welcome their loved ones. If you're pleased to present them, comfortable with them in social circumstances, and not ashamed or humiliated by their actions.
- You know you can say anything to your partner: Your spouse will be there for you whenever there is disagreement, bad news, or major changes in your life, and will work with you to find answers and move on.
- You and your spouse are both at ease: If you and your spouse appreciate each other's alone time, previous and present relationships, and deal with insecurity and jealousy in healthy ways. If you can deal with unpleasant emotions with maturity and kindness.
- You've reached the same conclusion: If you share same underlying views, have comparable long-term goals for your relationship, and agree on what you want from a partner.
- You're looking forward to the future: If you're enthusiastic about your mate and the things you can achieve together.
- You ask for change, and you get it: If you have a disagreement and seek for a compromise, your spouse does their part to bring about the change you desire. When pushed to compromise, if they answer with love and compassion rather than anger or defensiveness.
When Is It OK To End A Relationship?
- Your requirements aren't being met: If your spouse isn't satisfying your emotional, social, or physical demands after you've voiced them.
- Other individuals are meeting your major relationship needs: If you're looking for acceptance, support, or closeness from others, such as friends or family, since your spouse isn't giving it to you.
- You realize you can't ask for anything more: If you're dissatisfied in your relationship and your needs have been disregarded time and time again. If you don't think you can ask more of your spouse because you know they won't listen to you,
- You or your partner are always envious of others: If you or your spouse is regularly jealous, for whatever cause, and no steps are done to re-establish trust.
- There are insurmountable conflicts between you: If you have disagreements about your underlying values and views, as well as your future ideals and ambitions, and no one is prepared to compromise.
- Your family and friends aren't supportive of your relationship: If you believe your loved ones have your best interests at heart, yet you continually feel like you have to defend your connection to them. If you're fearful of causing controversy with your friends and family by discussing relationship concerns.
- You feel trapped or compelled: If you are unhappy yet feel obligated to stay in the relationship since you have already put so much time and energy in it. If you're feeling bad about ending the relationship because you're under pressure to stay in it.
- You can't seem to "get things to work": If you've been unhappy for a long time and have made promises to better your relationship but haven't kept them, it's time to move on. If you've been attempting to "make things work" for months or years without success.
- You have a grudge towards your partner: If you believe that your relationship's problems are affecting your capacity to see your spouse in a good light. If you feel unappreciated, bitter, or have grudges against your relationship.
- Simply put, you don't feel loved: If your ways of expressing and receiving affection are incompatible, or if your spouse refuses to show you affection in the way you want. If you don't feel loved or aren't sure how to make your spouse feel loved.
If You're In An Abusive Relationship
Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship, there are several warning signs to look for to see if it's become abusive. Abuse in a relationship manifests itself in the following ways:
- Emotional or verbal abuse: One spouse threatens, intimidates, or humiliates the other, separates them from friends and family, or manipulates them into acting or thinking in a specific manner.
- Financial: One partner has complete control over money and financial information, as well as household expenditures, and does not enable the other partner to be financially self-sufficient.
- Electronic: One spouse utilizes electronic methods to harass, manipulate, or shame the other, such as email, text messaging, social media, GPS tracking, or other digital gadgets.
- Physical: One spouse slaps, shoves, kicks, bites, or chokes the other, ruins their personal belongings, abuses their pets, or refuses to provide essentials such as food or medication.
- Sexual: One person coerces the other into having sex against their will, guilts or presses their partner into having sex, brags about cheating, refuses to use birth control, or withholds affection as a form of coercion.
Abuse in any kind is a grounds to end a relationship. Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 if you are concerned that your relationship is displaying indications of abuse, or if you need assistance forming a safety plan to escape an abusive relationship.